I love to make things. I don’t love to tell the world that I made them. This is marketing. It is the difference between success and failure. It is the difference between art for self and art for profit or the public. If no one knows you are doing it or that you did it, no one will enjoy it.
Marketing has been a perennial weakness in my work life. Some people enjoy telling others that they did something as much as they like to do it. That is not me. I adore the process of doing, and I even like sharing my work. But shit…this marketing thing.
I don’t think marketing sums it up, though. It's too dry and distant a word. What I am looking for is love.
I love making my work. I love giving my work. I want to feel love from the people I give it to. If I don’t feel love in return, it isn’t satisfying. I would rather not share it. I would rather save it for myself alone.
This breaks all of the rules of good boundaries and professionalism. But it is something I can understand because I can feel it. If I give my workshop, my sculpture, my performance, or a creative journey to a person or a community, and I don’t feel love, I know I am in the wrong place.
I need to believe that there is love out there for me if I keep looking. It's just like dating. In order to do the work to find that deep love, I had to have faith that a person existed who could love me.