We lost a dear friend on Christmas. I have been deeply involved in all that this loss has meant to me, our friends, and our family. After fifteen years of evolving friendship, it is a lot.
One thing I have been noticing is how important it is to people that when a person passes, we have a remnant, a memory, or an item that the person who has passed has given to us in life. It is almost more important that we feel we were loved by our friend or family member who has passed than whether we loved them. I know this sounds strange and backward, but we know our own feelings. When someone passes, we look for evidence of their feelings. We are experiencing sadness, pain, loss or some combination of those things and we hope it was somehow mutual, that we too were loved by them. That we did actually connect in a meaningful way. That we do have love from our friend on the other side.
A gift you gave. A song you sent. A photo of us loving each other. Evidence that it did in fact happen. We were close, and then you left. And maybe we still somehow get to feel your love and presence in our lives.